Its NOT Personal

My FaceBook Bumper Sticker

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best,
like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives … and even when it does it can be lost so easily.” ~  Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letter

In clearing out some drafts of posts that have become stale thoughts, no longer pertinent to my present day life, I ran across a few that I could not understand why they were still only drafts.  Ironically I found this one with the original thoughts being posted almost 5 years to the day ~ still being just as much what I need to hear today as I did back then!

It got me to thinking (uh oh) and started me wondering how some lessons in my life – could they actually BE my life lessons?  They sure seem to keep me in that learning curve in more than one area of my life. Maybe my life’s “theme”? Hmmm…

Well, whatever the reason it transcends all the seasons thus far. And is certainly something that I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everyone – especially myself – see that its not personal when something or somebody happens to step on my toes!

Check this out from an online Google group forum for recovery that I used to be a part of.

“Echoes from the past postings”:

(in response to the quandary of “When NOT to be a doormat”)

March 15th, 2005

WOO HOO! Go TEAM! (<<does that count as a “spirited response”?)

I intuitively picked up on your sarcasm …I think its a spot-it-you-got-it reflex.

When I seek input, in whatever the situation is, I realize that not everyone is going to be in agreement with everyone else. It’s the nature of the beast (that would be us humans). Its about perspectives again. AND I try and remember another thing…

whatever reaction/response I get from anyone is NOT personal. If I’m able to remember that, then I can hear things without offense or gettin my poor lil ole feelings hurt (SARCASM ALERT!). People have had years to reach the point that they are at in the life they live, and the ability to roll with it comes with experience and time. And if you DID NOT ask for input, but relied on your own thoughts and instincts and what you hoped you understood your Creator to be saying, then where would you be now?

Probably deeper in, same rut, without the humility to ask for help out of fear.

SO…to recap: I did NOT interpret (your) post as “whining without taking responsibility for youself”.

I heard a “hey! what would you guys do?” , with the assumption that SOMEBODY may have been here before – in the same spot you find yourself now.

I heard that while in the middle of the freakin box, its hard to see or think outside of it.

I heard alot of either what is going on with everybody in the responses or what they thought should be said, with only the best of intentions.

AND I was reminded yet again today not to take things personally and react to them.

That guy who cut me off…the overbearing boss…whoever it is, what they say or do is a reflection of them, not of me…and I don’t have to react to that.

That’s about as “spirited” as I’ve got… Maybe I will find my spirit boost later in the day!

And the discussion continued, evolving into a debate over “what IS ‘spiritual’ anyway?”:

“Spiritual” has had many meanings for me. It can, and in fact in my world DOES, equate to a light-hearted teasing and banter. I can’t speak for anyone but myself, of course (well…my kids … sometimes..). But there is definitely a playfulness in spirituality for me.
Balance in my day includes some sober reflection, tempered with the joy I find in the simple things…like having people who I can count on to throw it right back at me, without intent to harm, and in the spirit of camaraderie and love. (FYI: That would be you guys)

I better run along now! <<– getting stuck in the SAP!

Finding the humor~

Shiny Things

It IS a very naive and foolish thing to hope that other people can somehow suddenly HEAR themselves. Really hear how what they are telling themselves is building up a wall of self-righteousness that alienates them from the people around them. If we could ALL just realize that one thing – that its not a personal attack against us somehow – then there is a chance that our hearts may open as well. ::Sigh::

I believe it can happen. A “pipe dream”? Maybe so … but I can see progress in my spiritual journey and that gives me hope.




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