The Whys

My FaceBook Bumper Sticker

My FaceBook Bumper Sticker

Its late here and perhaps I should heed my own advice and post when I’m feeling much more awake 🙂 .

And yet, here I am!

I’ve had several people comment along the lines of “do you believe everything you post?” (in reference to the quotes and articles that I pass along) Or I’ve been told that “you’re always so positive and upbeatI wish I could be more like that“. I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but ….

POP!! <–(sound of bubbles of expectations being punctured by reality)

While I do, in fact, BELIEVE what I post and am inclined to see the glass half full, how I FEEL isn’t always in sync with these beliefs.  I post words that I’ve collected because they are the things that I need to hear.

Really, its a pretty selfish motive. To remind me. Not you, me.

And that really does sum it up nicely.

How I FEEL on any particular day isn’t necessarily what I choose to believe. I mean, I hear words from others that are “profoundities” – ideas that encapsulate the better part of human nature that lies in each of us. Something rises up inside and shouts “Yes!”  Or puts into words a greater truth that while I may inherently know, I’ve never been able to say. When I hear those words – in clips and phrases and lyrics and sonnets – I stop and really consider what was said. I wrap my head around it and roll it off my tongue, testing it and tasting it and trying it on me for size.

And when a saying hits home or causes me to stop and adjust the framed context of my expectations, I keep it … even if I’m not particularly feeling it.

Because what I’ve learned is this: I cannot find a place of peacefulness or gratitude if I’m wrapping it up in how I feel.  Don’t get me wrong – sometimes I am completely feeling it! I feel my soul soar or find moments of clarity that I can stick in my pocket and carry with me in my day.

In my moments of doubt, moments of fear, moments of insecurity, moments of bleh-ness, I post words that somebody else has put out there that I can find meaning in or that remind me that everything is changing and nothing is static. Or that there’s a beauty in words that flow gracefully.

So just to be clear: I like to read things that inspire me. That go beyond how I feel at any given moment, hopefully. Its not always a reflection of where I’m at, but what I use to practice getting out of a funk. Because for me it takes a whole lot of practice to be able to rise above how I feel on any given day. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t, but reading profoundities causes me to hit the “pause” button! It gives me pause (ha! I get that now!) and I do it for me.  If somebody else really “gets it” and it makes them pause, that’s great!!

But it’s really about helping myself. About me.




3 Responses

  1. mmm, just because you’re down on a day, doesn’t mean you can’t uplift yourself (and those reading your lovely blog) with the great messages you post here.

  2. And that is what makes you different from most folks. Or I cano only speak for myself for when I FEEL that way I don’t want any sort of happy inspiring crap around me. I want to waller in it. LOL So kudos for you and having the wear-with-all for knowing this about yourself and still wanting to read good stuff.

  3. You’re on it, sista. I continue to be inspired by all that you are, or write, or express in some form or another. Your insight amazes me.

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