Catastrophizing – Nature or Nurture?

You guys may remember my “Guest Blogger” some time back?  Well, whether you do or don’t, this is the one I refer to as “the Littlest”, Mary. She’s my baby, though officially into the traumatic teens now.

I digress…

She seems to have inherited the gift for CATASTROPHIZING. This is the innate and sometimes exasperating ability to take any bit of information, imagine the worst, most improbable scenario, and let it run to it’s logical conclusion, convincing yourself that it really COULD happen! I don’t know if I have somehow TAUGHT her this or if its a genetic component. I can only assume its a mixture of both.

What follows is a beautiful illustration of what I mean. Its an email she sent out to several of her friends which she gave me permission to post. She didn’t necessarily understand what I found so fascinating, but she reads this blog and I feel fairly certain that I will hear how she feels I have interpreted the implications. 😉

May I just inform everyone that I ABSOLUTELY HATE FINALS?!?!
;; Hangitall, I’ve got to go to Mrs. (Miss? Ms.?) Dun-dun-dun-dun-Durret next semester…and I’ll be THE ONLY ONE IN MY ENTIRE GYM CLASS IN ENRICHMENT. DX
Which means I’ll be the only one IN enrichment…and with my luck, they’ll probably cancel my class because of that, and I’ll be transferred to the class nobody knew about or worse, EVERYONE knew about EXCEPT for me and didn’t sign up for and it’ll be called ‘Cleaning the Band’s Spit Valves’ and I’ll have to clean the band’s spit valves with a toothbrush and then one day, I’ll be in there cleaning when suddenly, out of NOWHERE, everyone will turn into zombies, grab their instruments, and try to kill me. But it won’t work, and all it’ll do is give me extreme brain damage, to the point I’m mute and can’t operate my pencil or a keyboard correctly, so I’ll fail all of my classes. And then I’ll be sitting in the back of the graduating class in ninth grade, and everybody will graduate and toss their caps with the fuzzy pompom things RIGHT AT ME and I’ll graduate only eight years later, and by then everyone will of left (hometown) and I’ll be in a deserted city.
So I’ll move to New York, only I’ll only be able to get a job as an ORCHESTRA spit valve cleaner/instrument shiner where EVERYBODY is the same zombie-people as in seventh/eighth/ninth grade and will all be married and have 2.5 kids, and a happy zombie household, but ME? No, the non-zombie-spit-valve-cleaner-slash-shiner will be forced to live under the Saxophone, Second Chair, third row seat at night and will have too many instruments to clean at day and therefore will have to no life, and will eventually attempt suicide but instead breaks both my legs, making me unable to run and then, THREE SECONDS AFTER I TRY TO COMMIT SUICIDE a mugger comes and because I can’t say “No, I don’t have any stinking money, I’m a spit valve cleaner!!!” AND I can’t run and OF COURSE I STILL DON’T HAVE A CELL PHONE, they’ll stab me and throw me into a frozen pond, and I’ll die an unmarried, non-zombie, retarded spit valve cleaner that’s now frozen AND stabbed.
All this…because I didn’t get anyone else in my enrichment class.
Hmm. I’m tired and need to study.
Hope I entertained you with ‘One of Mary’s Worst Nightmares’. Now…STUDYYYYYY!


Quite honestly, I would love her to pieces even if she DID become ….whatever it was she catastrophized she would!
Then again, maybe I’d better forward this to her enrichment teacher, just to be on the safe side!

5 Responses

  1. with that imagination she should become a writer. of horror stories!!!!!! heeee heeee heeee

  2. watching to much wizard ofOZZZ . or how the grinch stole xmas

  3. “Mary Mary how does the garden grow in your head?”

    I love this child of yours. I see her soooo creative and mature beyond her years….One Day this little girl is going to grow into that mind of hers and…well…I can only imagine how GREAT it will be:) There is something in store for all of us with this Mary.

  4. OK, i’m completely lost. I couldn’t follow. LOL

  5. LOVE IT! Ok, I’m a little behind the times. Just found and read this. Incredibly… well…. entertainingly us!

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