Beautiful Sadness

From Angie’s Quote of the Day:

I love life…Yeah, I’m sad, but at the same time, I’m really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It’s like…It makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I’m feeling is like a beautiful sadness.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Raisins, 2003

I get that. “Beautiful sadness.” Being fully alive and knowing it beyond a shadow of a doubt through feeling a sadness to the very depths of your soul.

Waaaay back when on a much-missed online discussion forum (October 2004 to be exact!) I was trying to put into words (Side note: “trying” is the operative word!) the same sentiment. A brief ramble, if you will:

I am a people person by nature. I do adequately for small parcels of

time alone, but for the most part, I need people.

I keep hearing others talking about not letting other people affect
them. Remain serene. Don’t take it personally.

I concur with the principle, though not always the practice. I can see
where it is imperative to not allow other people’s insecurities and
negative characteristics to poison you. But I don’t think its realistic
to be unaffected by those around you, particularly people you love.

I’ve reached the point where I can not react to most emotions.  I still
feel them initially, but I can recognize and channel any shift,
adjusting my reactions based on internal manifestations.

The “problem” I’m experiencing now is that I wish to revel in them anyway.

I enjoy sadness simply because it’s so full of LIFE. At least, no more
less than joy or happiness. I suppose that sounds trite, but it’s true.
The emotions, the desires, the pursuits are the color of life.

Though I’m sure there’s something more pure, like a detached
all-encompassing perspective of existence. I suppose that would just be
a heightened sense of self maybe, but I am not there and not sure I
want to be there.

I’m not suggesting a return to numbing myself. But as I listened to
some of our group member’s ideal about being unaffected,I am, for the
most part, becoming more and more appreciative of experiencing life as
it is, not being limited to just the positive.

And the details of this life for me are directly related to those that surround me. I’m
affected and changed by my interactions with people. My natural
surroundings also teach and shape me, but it is the constant interwoven
dance with others that change me into who I am and who I am becoming.

It’s likely just my perception of what they are saying. I hear what I
will hear. I hope that what is meant is not REACTING to someone else’s
reactions to …whatever. I hope that its not being suggested that I
not instinctively feel in response to my relationships with people,
because I don’t want to be that detached. Ever.

All of this was a byproduct of just plain ole feeling sad earlier today
and realizing even as I felt it filling up my chest and my eyes – I
felt more alive in that moment, that second, than I had as I cruised on
auto-pilot for most of the morning.

Sappy as hell, I know, but it got me to thinking.

Finding the humor,

~Shiny Things

Reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Stabilo called “Beautiful Madness”. Here’s a small piece of the song:

Say what you wanna say, any time of day,
but don’t justify my truths
It’s time for me to change, time for hope
to bleed, time for love to sacrifice…

i could’ve held back, but you were already there,
and if you never look back, you never quite care

…For the times I’ve walked
for the times I talked
For the times alone, alone, alone

This beautiful madness,
this glorious sadness…

Or you can just listen to it:

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2 Responses

  1. this too shall past, dark nights of the soul come to inspire

    great post – thanks FP

    Its all good Larry! Life-affirming and positive and very much part of being 🙂
    Thanks for the comment and have a great weekend!

  2. Beautiful Sadness by Jane Olivor More Jane Olivor music on iLike

    Thanks Chris! I am always, ALWAYS listening for good “new” music (new to me) and this was an introduction! 🙂

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