The Sand in my Soul’s Swimsuit – R.I.D.’s


Stress, in whatever form it takes for me, increases the my quota of the RID’s (Restless, Irritable, Discontent Syndrome)…and while it may lie dormant in my system like a virus, never completely going away (getting RID of the RIDS! heh!), like any good virus, stress kicks it into gear.

I mean, isn’t everyone like that on some level? When you’re sick and feeling like an army of tiny elves have beaten your body with tiny little bats … or when allergies kick in and every 3rd breath is a sneeze and your head is all cotteny … or when you’ve got too many things on your ToDo list and not enough hours or energy in the day … or when you slept too little the night before and your mind is moving like molasses … or the day starts out with bad news on the radio, rain outside your window, and the coffeemaker is on the fritz…

You get the idea. It doesn’t take much to put stress on me these days, my back and neck giving me a constant song of pain. Mostly I realize this and say “no” to additional responsibilities outside of the GOTTA’s in my life.

Sometimes, though, the GOTTA’S increase as the pace in life increases, turning up the stress, making the RID’s strong enough to push through my barrier of coping tools. And how I despise it! But it happens – to everyone, I think.

Gripes, in no particular order:

-Windows Defender scanning my system every time I turn it on, slowing down the instant gratification factor…

-Saving something for when I will be able to appreciate & enjoy it, only for it to be picked up by someone else (sort of like when you take in a roll of pictures and the person picking them up looks at them first)…

-Putting a LOT of effort into something, really working at it on a conscious level, and it falls below the radar of awareness, except in my own…

-Having people I love distant – intentionally or not – physically, mentally, or emotionally

-Having more expected of me than I know I can give and feeling like I’m letting people down

Er…hmmmm….I think that’s the main abrasives rubbing a rash into my soul today.

(“Annnnnnnnnnnd SCENE!” as my theater kid says when its time to put an end to something – the “something” being a WHINE festival! Pass the cheese, please….)

And now that I look back up at what I wrote, you know what I see?

I see selfishness and ego rampantly stomping through everything. Yep. That’s my disease showing its ugly face in my life, that is, despite all my hurumping and grumblings, a gift chock full of opportunities. Do you know what time it is kiddos?

Yep! That all powerful gratitude list, followed by a quick meditation, and finding something to do for someone else that gets me out of me.

And the beat goes on…

Patience, love, and tolerance – for ya’ll AND me,



One Response

  1. windows defender buggs the sh%$ out of me too. so now i put the computer on first, then do the rounds of opening the blinds in the house, sometimes go bounce, and then when i want the computer, nothing interferes with instant gratification.

    …and distant people have the ability to upset me more than anything else too. i feel powerless and helpless. and can’t leave it be. it keeps on bugging me.

    so lemme join you in the patience, love and tolerance if you don’t mind…

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