Pieces of Hope

Feeling

despair n

1: a state in which everything seems wrong and will turn out badly [syn: desperation]

2: the feeling that everything is wrong and nothing will turn out well [ant: hope]

v : abandon hope; give up hope; lose heart


Yes, I completely get that. A Loss of Hope


In what version of reality do I exist? Head vs. Heart

If what I construed as “my world” was a figment of my imaginings~
of my fantasies given enough credence to be believable
because I wanted so VERY badly to believe
That something really COULD happen to me…
Just for a little while

Illusions, however beautiful they may be, disappear with the dawn

some dawns are slower than others, gradually lighting the sky
so imperceptibly that you don’t notice it until its unmistakable,
even to a woman blinded by the colors of her heart


But I seem to find that within the very spirit of despair,
LOSS has to be acknowledged and gratified

Grief is part of the same fabric of despair, patterned to match the depth of a loss


Do I wear mine well? I don’t begin to know!
What I thought I knew, I don’t
What I thought was undeniable, may have been illusionary

My city of Hope

Built on what I thought was the most solid of foundations
pieces of its deconstruction
crumbling when I lean on it, finding myself in need of support


will I tumble through?

Leaving me free falling into a despair

black as night

Where no rays of sunshine or hope penetrates the darkest hour as
Fragments of my dreams
, the foundation, shattered into pieces
The whispers of their descent as they fall past me,

faster than my heart can comprehend….

Yet

even should I fall into this hole inside
my spirit, ever the idealist, looks up and finds that essential sunbeam

capturing me
washing over me
cradling me
lifting me

back up in the protective embrace of its light
illuminating

the loss of my hopes were only nightmares
created within the shadows of my mind –
dark corners of my soul where fear and doubt breed

What is real
is what I choose to believe to be real

Within LOVE lies HOPE
And within HOPE,
my spirit & soul can breathe
~me





 

 

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